About Me

My photo
e. l . wood is a native of birmingham, alabama. he grew up on the urban streets of dallas, texas before attending college at houston baptist university where he earned a b. a. in english and psychology. after a year of teaching high school english in the public schools of houston, e. l. wood attended sam houston state university where he earned a master’s degree in english. after bouncing around the deep south for several years, he finished his ph. d. in american literature before 1900 at the university of southern mississippi. e. l. wood has been teaching in some capacity since 1992 and has taught for a local community college since 1995. in his spare time, e.l. wood enjoys reading, movies, and the outdoors. he is personally acquainted with several search and rescue teams around the southeast. he is married to the lovely and gracious a. c. they have a daughter (special k), and one dog. They reside in h'burg, deep south. in addition to being the sole proprietor of the gandy dancer billiard parlor, e. l. wood dabbles in folk art and the occasional cultivation of a handlebar mustache.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

the sugar does indeed taste so fine . . .



last weekend, my father-in-law and i went to the local american legion in search of adult beverages and the possibility of live music. and i must say, we hit the jackpot on both counts.

there just so happened to be a song-writers’ sing around in progress, and on stage we were privileged to hear a regional group called sugarcane jane . in short, they were fantastic.

the group is made up of anthony crawford and savana lee. crawford is one of the best guitarists i have ever witnessed in person. he has toured with neil young, played with roy acuff, and his songs have been sung by kenny rogers, lorrie morgan, and the nitty gritty dirt band. his voice is like the love child resulting from a tender affair between the intonations of neil young and the haunting tenors of del mccoury. savana, a loxley, alabama girl, was great as well. her voice and harmonies ranged from gentle and krauss-like to passionate shades of loretta lynn. the chemistry between lee and crawford was a thing of beauty to witness. after the show, i bought four of the cd’s they had available and immediately went to their web site to find future locations/dates where these two will be playing.

my father-in-law and i have enjoyed lots of local gigs across the southeast over the past ten years. we’ve seen some good acts here and there. enough that we’ve developed a question between ourselves: how good do you have to be? implying that the music business must be tough, because while some of these talented folks aren’t hitting it big, american idol et al is cranking consumption for the masses that just ain’t all that.

something tells me sugarcane jane just might be good enough. if you’re lucky enough to catch them live, you’ll see and hear what i mean.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Friday, September 04, 2009



one of the things i miss most about living in texas is the annual state fair. and a big part of what i miss is the food offerings at the fair (did you know that snow cones debuted at the texas state fair?) one of my heros, abel gonzales, jr. (the creator of such delectables as texas fried cookie dough, fried peanut butter, jelly and banana sandwiches, and fried coke) has done it again. this october gonzales is introducing (drum roll please) . . . . . . . . . . . . . fried butter!



can it get any closer to heaven on this side of the grave?

i hope babe’s fried chicken learns how to fix fried butter and serves it as an appetizer.

Tuesday, September 01, 2009

welcome back, james!!!!!!!



tomorrow is a great day. one of my all-time favorite politicians will be released from the federal pen. so look out washington. if he were to run for anything, i’d vote for him. and since half the jokers in that town are crooks what ain’t been caught yet anyways, why not give old j.t. a crack at sorting out some of the mess. the people need a wordsmith of the common man to go toe to toe with THE ONE. check out these golden oldies:









now that he’s out of jail, his art work should be going on sale in legit markets. if you’re interested in that sort of thing, j. t. has got some pretty cool stuff. my personal favorite is his madonna and child painting.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

things that make you go, "hmmmmmmmmm."


before viewing the following clip, ask yourself the following questions:

“am i happy with the service i get from the united states post office?”

“why does the cost of postage keep going up, but the service of the us post office remain the same or get worse?”

“when was the last time the us post office turned a fiscal profit?”

according to jo cerra's article in the new york times , the us post office lost 5 BILLION dollars in 2007, 2.4 BILLION dollars in 2008, and is on track to lose 7 BILLION dollars in 2009.

with these thoughts in mind, witness the rhetorical mastery that is THE ONE.

Tuesday, August 04, 2009


one of my favorite happenings is when god reveals glimpses of himself in unanticipated or unexpected places or/and events. maybe i should not be so startled or surprised, but when it happens, i feel the most like a child on christmas morning than at any other time. one such event occurred last friday night at the beau rivage hotel and casino in biloxi, mississippi.

my lovely and gracious wife and i are not big fans of the boats, but we did want to catch the los lonely boys in concert. so, we booked a room, burned through a roll of nickels at the one-armed-bandits, ate some pretty good food, and set off to hear what turned out to be a great concert.

i knew the los lonely boys were going to be good, but had no idea that they were going to be THAT good. the three brothers ( henry, jojo, and ringo garza) brought it for roughly 70 minutes, came back for a one song encore that turned into a two song encore that morphed into another twenty minutes split between stevie wonder’s superstition and jimi hendrix’s voodoo child. Wow. pretty much the whole concert was amped a bit more than their studio work; in fact, the pace and volume of the concert revealed a whole other side of the band.

but i digress - - - about twenty minutes into the show, for one brief moment, the boys slowed the pace a bit. henry dedicated a song to “all of us here tonight who might have done that one little thing in our life we might regret,” and then they played forgiven.

it’s not like i haven’t heard the song before or haven’t ever contemplated the spiritual journey of the band whose albums include titles like forgiven and scacred.

maybe it was the venue – a casino – with vice in all its forms available. maybe it was the brazen act of witness in a secular forum. whatever it was, in the roughly 3 minutes it took for the los lonely boys to perform forgiven, the arena was almost completely silent, and i was taken into the presence of god in a powerful and palpable way.

and it was pretty cool to know that the answer to the song’s question, “Can I be forgiven?” is a resounding, “YES!”



Take it away. Take it away.
Take away these feelings cuz they're bringing me down.
Cuz I can't breathe. Feels like I can't breathe.
Feels just like this whole world's coming down on me.

Oh, can I be Forgiven for all I have done?

Can you set me free? Can you set me free?
Set me free from all this pain life's done to me.

If you can hear me praying, then I'll ask one more time.

Can you take it away, Lord? Oh, can I be forgiven?
Can you take it away, Lord? Help me change my ways of living.
[ Forgiven lyrics from http://www.lyricsyoulove.com/ ]

Oh, can I be forgiven for all I have done?
Is there time for me? Is there still time for me?
Time to change whatever I've got left of me.

If you can hear me praying, then I'll ask one more time.

Can you take it away, Lord? Oh, can I be forgiven?
Can you take it away, Lord? Help me change my ways of living.

Monday, June 22, 2009

three cheers for journalistic integrity!


sometimes there are things in this world that just defy logic. but if we focus on the little things, we might be able to right the world before it is too late. one such area i’d like folks to consider is in the daily reporting of the temperature. yesterday, the weatherman reported that it was 100 degrees, with a heat index was 108degrees. if i understand it right, a heat index is “what it feels like” outside. is this to say that the weather is an emotional state of mind? no. can weather be manipulated by, say, oprah? no. so, why not just report the truth? i mean the temperature is not like a forecast – “there’s a 50% chance of thunder showers in the afternoon.” no one really cares about the accuracy rating of a forecast anyway because the odds of the weathermen being right is less than even. so why not be frank about absolutes such as the temperature. either it is or it isn’t 108. if it is, just say, “it’s 108 degrees outside.” if they’re not sure, just get in the ball park. simply say, “it’s freakin’ hot out there. be careful and make sure you hydrate.” we can take it. and maybe, if we can get the weather reported with some honesty, that attitude might spill over into other areas of journalism.

Thursday, May 07, 2009

viva texas rangers!



wow! it may be only an ephemeral moment, but i’m going to enjoy it. the texas baseball rangers are in first place! IN MAY for crying out loud! GO BOYS, GO!!!!

i'm a sucker for a good ad and a good beer


Wednesday, May 06, 2009

"Great men are never sufficiently shown but in struggles." Edmund Burke


The following is a letter from Andrew McCarthy to Attorney General Holder concerning a request to participate in President Obama's Task Force on Detention Policy. Wow. If only we had conservative politicians running with the cojones of Mr. McCarthy.


May 1, 2009


By email (to the Counterterrorism Division) and by regular mail:

The Honorable Eric H. Holder, Jr.
Attorney General of the United States
United States Department of Justice
950 Pennsylvania Avenue, NW
Washington, D.C. 20530-0001

Dear Attorney General Holder:

This letter is respectfully submitted to inform you that I must decline the invitation to participate in the May 4 roundtable meeting the President’s Task Force on Detention Policy is convening with current and former prosecutors involved in international terrorism cases. An invitation was extended to me by trial lawyers from the Counterterrorism Section, who are members of the Task Force, which you are leading.

The invitation email (of April 14) indicates that the meeting is part of an ongoing effort to identify lawful policies on the detention and disposition of alien enemy combatants -- or what the Department now calls “individuals captured or apprehended in connection with armed conflicts and counterterrorism operations.” I admire the lawyers of the Counterterrorism Division, and I do not question their good faith. Nevertheless, it is quite clear -- most recently, from your provocative remarks on Wednesday in Germany -- that the Obama administration has already settled on a policy of releasing trained jihadists (including releasing some of them into the United States). Whatever the good intentions of the organizers, the meeting will obviously be used by the administration to claim that its policy was arrived at in consultation with current and former government officials experienced in terrorism cases and national security issues. I deeply disagree with this policy, which I believe is a violation of federal law and a betrayal of the president’s first obligation to protect the American people. Under the circumstances, I think the better course is to register my dissent, rather than be used as a prop.
Moreover, in light of public statements by both you and the President, it is dismayingly clear that, under your leadership, the Justice Department takes the position that a lawyer who in good faith offers legal advice to government policy makers—like the government lawyers who offered good faith advice on interrogation policy—may be subject to investigation and prosecution for the content of that advice, in addition to empty but professionally damaging accusations of ethical misconduct. Given that stance, any prudent lawyer would have to hesitate before offering advice to the government.

Beyond that, as elucidated in my writing (including my proposal for a new national security court, which I understand the Task Force has perused), I believe alien enemy combatants should be detained at Guantanamo Bay (or a facility like it) until the conclusion of hostilities. This national defense measure is deeply rooted in the venerable laws of war and was reaffirmed by the Supreme Court in the 2004 Hamdi case. Yet, as recently as Wednesday, you asserted that, in your considered judgment, such notions violate America’s “commitment to the rule of law.” Indeed, you elaborated, “Nothing symbolizes our [administration’s] new course more than our decision to close the prison at Guantanamo Bay&hellip. President Obama believes, and I strongly agree, that Guantanamo has come to represent a time and an approach that we want to put behind us: a disregard for our centuries-long respect for the rule of law.”

Given your policy of conducting ruinous criminal and ethics investigations of lawyers over the advice they offer the government, and your specific position that the wartime detention I would endorse is tantamount to a violation of law, it makes little sense for me to attend the Task Force meeting. After all, my choice would be to remain silent or risk jeopardizing myself.

For what it may be worth, I will say this much. For eight years, we have had a robust debate in the United States about how to handle alien terrorists captured during a defensive war authorized by Congress after nearly 3000 of our fellow Americans were annihilated. Essentially, there have been two camps. One calls for prosecution in the civilian criminal justice system, the strategy used throughout the 1990s. The other calls for a military justice approach of combatant detention and war-crimes prosecutions by military commission. Because each theory has its downsides, many commentators, myself included, have proposed a third way: a hybrid system, designed for the realities of modern international terrorism—a new system that would address the needs to protect our classified defense secrets and to assure Americans, as well as our allies, that we are detaining the right people.
There are differences in these various proposals. But their proponents, and adherents to both the military and civilian justice approaches, have all agreed on at least one thing: Foreign terrorists trained to execute mass-murder attacks cannot simply be released while the war ensues and Americans are still being targeted. We have already released too many jihadists who, as night follows day, have resumed plotting to kill Americans. Indeed, according to recent reports, a released Guantanamo detainee is now leading Taliban combat operations in Afghanistan, where President Obama has just sent additional American forces.
The Obama campaign smeared Guantanamo Bay as a human rights blight. Consistent with that hyperbolic rhetoric, the President began his administration by promising to close the detention camp within a year. The President did this even though he and you (a) agree Gitmo is a top-flight prison facility, (b) acknowledge that our nation is still at war, and (c) concede that many Gitmo detainees are extremely dangerous terrorists who cannot be tried under civilian court rules. Patently, the commitment to close Guantanamo Bay within a year was made without a plan for what to do with these detainees who cannot be tried. Consequently, the Detention Policy Task Force is not an effort to arrive at the best policy. It is an effort to justify a bad policy that has already been adopted: to wit, the Obama administration policy to release trained terrorists outright if that’s what it takes to close Gitmo by January.

Obviously, I am powerless to stop the administration from releasing top al Qaeda operatives who planned mass-murder attacks against American cities—like Binyam Mohammed (the accomplice of “Dirty Bomber” Jose Padilla) whom the administration recently transferred to Britain, where he is now at liberty and living on public assistance. I am similarly powerless to stop the administration from admitting into the United States such alien jihadists as the 17 remaining Uighur detainees. According to National Intelligence Director Dennis Blair, the Uighurs will apparently live freely, on American taxpayer assistance, despite the facts that they are affiliated with a terrorist organization and have received terrorist paramilitary training. Under federal immigration law (the 2005 REAL ID Act), those facts render them excludable from theUnited States. The Uighurs’ impending release is thus a remarkable development given the Obama administration’s propensity to deride its predecessor’s purported insensitivity to the rule of law.

I am, in addition, powerless to stop the President, as he takes these reckless steps, from touting his Detention Policy Task Force as a demonstration of his national security seriousness. But I can decline to participate in the charade.
Finally, let me repeat that I respect and admire the dedication of Justice Department lawyers, whom I have tirelessly defended since I retired in 2003 as a chief assistant U.S. attorney in the Southern District of New York. It was a unique honor to serve for nearly twenty years as a federal prosecutor, under administrations of both parties. It was as proud a day as I have ever had when the trial team I led was awarded the Attorney General’s Exceptional Service Award in 1996, after we secured the convictions of Sheikh Omar Abdel Rahman and his underlings for waging a terrorist war against the United States. I particularly appreciated receiving the award from Attorney General Reno—as I recounted in Willful Blindness, my book about the case, without her steadfastness against opposition from short-sighted government officials who wanted to release him, the “blind sheikh” would never have been indicted, much less convicted and so deservedly sentenced to life-imprisonment. In any event, I’ve always believed defending our nation is a duty of citizenship, not ideology. Thus, my conservative political views aside, I’ve made myself available to liberal and conservative groups, to Democrats and Republicans, who’ve thought tapping my experience would be beneficial. It pains me to decline your invitation, but the attendant circumstances leave no other option.
Very truly yours,

/S/
Andrew C. McCarthy
cc: Sylvia T. Kaser and John DePue
National Security Division, Counterterrorism Section

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

my own dr.s frankenstien: albert marsh and william hoskins



the above is a result of a quiz which rae ann, she of i'm a hoe, not to be mistaken for a rake or a shovel fame, turned me onto. i'll leave it to both of the viewing audience members who know me as to whether or not the results of the quiz are accurate. i must confess, i was stunned upon discovering that i have been labeled a toaster. you too can find your inner inanimate object here .

Monday, April 27, 2009

happy hour indeed!

i though about calling this photo this little light of mine, but it sounded kinda sacrilegious. so, i'll just call it, papa's a pretty cool dude 'cause he took me to sonic.

Friday, April 17, 2009

the wojtowicz's, franklin, and douglass



patrick, melissa, and gabrielle wojtowicz have become my newest heroes. after reading an article about them in the 4/14/09 issue of USA Today (having trouble linking to the article - sorry) and a subsequent article by peggy noonan , I decided to check out the wojtowicz’s blog (i can't figure out why this link says the blog doesn't exist, but when it says that true north doesn't exist, click on true north and it will take you to none other than true north).

these guys figured it out. as patrick says in the USA Today article, “The idea of living a fuller, more satisfying life seems simple to us now. . . . We would basically buy stuff to feel good. . . . When that stuff stopped filling the voids we had, we started analyzing what it was that we were really missing. . . . Money, cash, credit, maybe they don’t matter. Maybe, just maybe, it is those things that impede our ability to be truly happy.”

patrick is right. and the path the wojtowicz family are on embodies ben franklin’s ideas of self-reliance, specifically virtues #4, #5, and #6: resolution, frugality, and industry. i hope and pray, that the wojtowiczs are indicative of a whole movement back to an agrarian life style. if they are, and if there is a shift in american culture back to an agrarian mind set, maybe an unintended consequence of BIG GOVERNMENT’s meddling in the american way of life could be a positive.

in his Self-Made Man lecture of 1859, frederick douglass said, “Self-made men are the men . . . who they are, without the aid of any of the favoring conditions by which other men usually rise in the world and achieve great results. . . . They are the men who, in a world of schools, academics, colleges, and other institutions of learning, are often compelled by unfriendly circumstances to acquire their education elsewhere and, amidst unfavorable conditions, to hew out for themselves a way to success, and thus to become the architects of their own good fortunes. . . . If they have traveled far, they have made the road on which they have traveled. If they have ascended high, they have built their own ladder. . . . I am certain that there is nothing good, great or desirable which man can possess in this world, that does not come by some kind of labor, either physical or mental, moral or spiritual. A man may, at times, get something for nothing, but it will, in his hands, amount to nothing. What is true in the world of matter is equally true in the world of the mind. Without culture there can be no growth; without exertion, no acquisition; without friction, no polish; without labor, no knowledge; without action, no progress and without conflict, no victory. The man who lies down a fool at night, hoping that he will waken wise in the morning, will rise up in the morning as he laid down in the evening.”

i think franklin and douglass would've been proud of the wojtowic family.

hard-working hands gain control, but lazy hands do slave labor. Proverbs 12:24

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

go get 'em america!

god bless the new crop of sons and daughters of liberty who are participating tomorrow in the tea parties around the country! may your voices be heard!

Friday, April 03, 2009

a stack of money with eyes, a gecko, and a karaoke singer walk into a bar . . .




this video is for my daughter who really likes all things geico. hopefully, she will not grow up with some sort of unhealthy paranoia.

Thursday, April 02, 2009

tell me tommy boy; what is it good for?

as an amateur ornithologist, my ears perked up when i heard about the newest cyber space rage - tweeting. or is it twitting? or twittering? anyway - as a technological neanderthal, i’m doing well to figure out how to post a blog every now and then, much less tweet every two seconds. how does one keep up with tweeting and why? i mean, when i don’t blog for weeks at a time, it occurs to me to go to confession. which is strange. but if stephen king can crank out books a year, shouldn’t i be able to crank out blogs a month? so along comes the twitter. which i still have not gotten a straight answer about from my students. which alerts me to the fact that tweeting or twittering or whatever is either a) so new they don’t even know what it’s good for, or b) it’s not really good for anything. anyone besides the cartoon network got any insight for those of us being left behind?

Wednesday, March 11, 2009



Bob Dylan once said, “A hero is someone who understands the responsibility that comes with his freedom.” It seems South Carolina’s governor, Mark Sanford almost gets Zimbo’s drift; he sorta understands James Madison's observation that "I cannot undertake to lay my finger on that article of the Constitution which granted a right to Congress of expending, on objects of benevolence, the money of their constituents." So, should Mr. Sanford get half of an “‘atta boy!” for rejecting "some" of the stimulus bill? for almost saying,"No" to the stimulus package? Sanford rightly avers that “The name of the game is staying true to the principles that got you into politics in the first place _ and letting the chips fall where they may." So why not apply this to a total rejection of the stimulus bill? would that there were governors out there who had the strength and courage to follow all the way through with their principles.

Friday, February 20, 2009

ezra, the seer



ezra taft benson was the secretary of agriculture in the eisenhower administration. i’m not sure how popular he was then, but i wish there were more wise politicians with some cajones like ezra’s around today. i understand he actually was a prophet in the lds organization. i think that's what the bookend weirdness of the second clip is all about. after listening to a few of his words, it seems maybe he did have a touch of the sight. certainly, he was on the mark politically.


Tuesday, February 10, 2009

can you hear me now?

america - how much more can you take? when are you going to listen and realize what's going down? wake up out there. the wool is being pulled over your eyes as the following quote and clip illustrate.

from the press conference last night, obama says: "I know that there are a lot of folks out there who've been saying, 'Oh, this is pork, and this is money that's going to be wasted,' and et cetera, et cetera. Understand, this bill does not have a single earmark in it, which is unprecedented for a bill of this size. ... There aren't individual pork projects that members of Congress are putting into this bill."

the bold italics are mine for emphasis in light of the following clip.