About Me

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e. l . wood is a native of birmingham, alabama. he grew up on the urban streets of dallas, texas before attending college at houston baptist university where he earned a b. a. in english and psychology. after a year of teaching high school english in the public schools of houston, e. l. wood attended sam houston state university where he earned a master’s degree in english. after bouncing around the deep south for several years, he finished his ph. d. in american literature before 1900 at the university of southern mississippi. e. l. wood has been teaching in some capacity since 1992 and has taught for a local community college since 1995. in his spare time, e.l. wood enjoys reading, movies, and the outdoors. he is personally acquainted with several search and rescue teams around the southeast. he is married to the lovely and gracious a. c. they have a daughter (special k), and one dog. They reside in h'burg, deep south. in addition to being the sole proprietor of the gandy dancer billiard parlor, e. l. wood dabbles in folk art and the occasional cultivation of a handlebar mustache.

Friday, January 30, 2009

we don't need no stinking stimulus . . .


The following is a list of 41 modern-day political heroes who should be applauded for looking out for the American people’s best interests. These 41 brave senators voted against S. Amdt 3983 and H. R. 5140, the so-called Recovery Rebates and Economic Stimulus for the American People Act of 2008. God bless these 41 members and help them to remain strong in their convictions.

Alphabetical by Senator Name:
Alexander (R-TN), Nay
Allard (R-CO), Nay
Barrasso (R-WY), Nay
Bennett (R-UT), Nay
Bond (R-MO), Nay
Brownback (R-KS), Nay
Bunning (R-KY), Nay
Burr (R-NC), Nay
Chambliss (R-GA), Nay
Coburn (R-OK), Nay
Cochran (R-MS), Nay
Corker (R-TN), Nay
Cornyn (R-TX), Nay
Craig (R-ID), Nay
Crapo (R-ID), Nay
DeMint (R-SC), Nay
Ensign (R-NV), Nay
Enzi (R-WY), Nay
Graham (R-SC), Nay
Gregg (R-NH), Nay
Hagel (R-NE), Nay
Hatch (R-UT), Nay
Hutchison (R-TX), Nay
Inhofe (R-OK), Nay
Isakson (R-GA), Nay
Kyl (R-AZ), Nay
Lugar (R-IN), Nay
Martinez (R-FL), Nay
McConnell (R-KY), Nay
Murkowski (R-AK), Nay
Reid (D-NV), Nay
Roberts (R-KS), Nay
Sessions (R-AL), Nay
Shelby (R-AL), Nay
Stevens (R-AK), Nay
Sununu (R-NH), Nay
Thune (R-SD), Nay
Vitter (R-LA), Nay
Voinovich (R-OH), Nay
Warner (R-VA), Nay
Wicker (R-MS), Nay

Of note: *McCain (R-AZ), Not voting

the audacity of hope . . .

i love the super bowl for lots of reasons, but one of the draws for me is the cool commercials. in this season of really creative advertisements, the following, in my opinion, will be hard to top this sunday. if i needed someone to advertise something for me, i’d do my best to hire the folks who put this spot together. it’s simple. it’s subtle. it’s effective. no matter which side of the issue you take, it is difficult to muster any sort of negative response to the presentation of this ad. this is the kind of smart thinking we need more of. this is the sort of moving spirit that can win the day.

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

i'd pay a dollar to see that at the carnival

sometimes i see things that i just can’t help staring at. it’s rude. it’s impolite. i try not to do it in public. but in the privacy of my own home, it doesn’t seem to hurt much. in these waning days of the football season, i’ve been watching a ton of football fluff on the various sports channels (particularly a series on the nfl network called missing rings). i’ve also been sucked into another show called playbook which is described by the nfl network as a program that uses “exclusive access to coaching film” to “give fans an in -depth look at the match-ups and how each team looks to exploit the other.” as a football junkie, one might assume that i tune into the show to learn the ins and outs of competing teams. but, no-sir. i tune in for one reason. to stare at brian baldinger’s right digitus minimus. i can’t help it. indeed, i found myself this past season actually seeking out games on fox that baldinger was calling even though i didn’t care a jot nor a tiddle about either team on the field, all the while ignoring the fact that baldinger is one of my least favorite color commentators. i would mute the tv and hope the network would cut away from game action and show the booth just so i could catch a glimpse of baldinger’s right digitus quintus. his right fourth finger colloquially is so jacked up that it makes me feel like a vicarious arthritic barometer. if i’m visually locked into his digitus V, i can accurately report the atmospheric pressure and predict high pressure fronts with some modicum of accuracy.

it was when a commercial break came on that my hypnotic lock on baldinger’s pinkie was interrupted and i realized that my habit of staring in-house was indeed dangerous. my daughter, who is a very live wire of a three year old, had been lying silently and statuesquely on the couch beside me with her head in my lap. this is so unusual and out of character for her that asked her if she felt well. she assured me that she was ok. and then went silent again. i should have known something was up, that this was indeed my child. after a couple of minutes she said, “hey, papa. why do you have a charlotte’s web inside your nose?”

“i don’t know, buddy,” i said, “but it is really not polite to stare.”